IF I COULD JUST REACH A GOAL

I just read about an old acquaintance dying. Allen Lee. I know a lot of people will have mixed emotions about his passing because he was the type you either liked, hated or couldn't put a real finger on it.  I admired him for the fact he stood his grounds for what he believed even though his way of getting things across could sometimes be crass and or annoying. It didn't matter what color you were if he believed it wrong he made it loud and known. I admired the way he  made me look at my own motives for doing things. I just wonder if any of his goals were met.

When my mom got sick this last time it made me look at her a little differently. Not because of her age, but because I wondered if she had succeeded in any of her dreams. I wonder what she had wanted to be in life. She never talks about it. I'm sure she hadn't wanted to be a divorced mother of 7 by the age of 38. Nor had she wanted to be ill with multiple heart surgeries.I know she wanted to have reared honest God fearing children. She told my daughter the other weekend all she wanted was to have her children get along because she (the youngest of 18) went through a lot of drama with her siblings. I hope she doesn't think she failed. We have to remember children are humans in their own skin and become what there are from the way we interpret experiences.

I think about my dad who has been dead for 16 years now. People have told me how he tested on the genius level. He was the man of all trades. Could do anything from making baby doll clothes to...well everything. He was a great artist and beautiful pictures hang in my mom's home. I wonder if he did the main thing in his heart, if any of his goals were met.

I think of Michael Jackson and the heart wrenching conversations that were on tape and think of the human side of us all. Mhia said after his death she no longer feels the urge to make negative comments about the famous. I can understand. We tend to forget people are human. Whether they are in the limelight or sitting on the floor playing with their toys.

I guess retrospection comes with age. My goal in life is to touch someone, who will touch someone, who will touch someone and make a difference in the world.