Tossing Keys in the Air

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All I want to say is....what the flip in hell!.....Last Thursday I was finally feeling the joy in getting a daycare opened outside of the home. The rent($1100.00) for the building had been paid and all that had to be done was refurbishing, and licensing inspection ( won't mention the staff and clients). I don't know if I had said this, but the building was a previous daycare that had closed in July. Our target opening month was October. Well, on Friday last week my girls and I went to Houston so the eldest could buy her a car (she calls it Lola). Evacuation became a family reunion in Austin on Saturday-Monday then we returned to Houston.
We arrive home to life as usual on Wednesday morning and I continued to do the paper work to get the center on the road. Yesterday, all deals were called off...what the flip in hell? The landlord lost his gourd and gave us the money back. I am confused. I have no idea what to even believe in anymore. Where am I supposed to be going? Doing? I was praying this would be the way to get out of the financial bind that is still chasing me and now I'm lost. I may be holding onto the Lord's hand but my feet are sliding on the slippery rocks underneath the turbulent waters and I am afraid. Usually, when I feel like I'm drowning I can cut the yard, change the center's furnishings around and gain some peace. This morning I went to work in the yard. It is not working. I must have really done something wrong in life to have everything continually falling apart. If I were a cry baby, I probably would cry. But what difference would it make? What the flip in hell. If I didn't know God could turn things around I would just give up. What the flip in hell. So, if I don't write in a few mind is so confused I can't even think.


Holli said... Best Blogger Tips

Oh my. Bless your heart. I have no answers, only quotes & scriptures. Hope one of them helps...

"My message is simple. Life is not fair. You will have to overcome odds that may be stacked against you. But you can change the outcome of your life if you will refuse to give up hope and each day refine your vision of who you really are. It will require a new way of seeing." - Bishop T.D. Jakes, Reposition Yourself.

"The Divine Shepherd has a message of hope, strength, and deliverance for all. If there were no night, we would not appreciate the day, nor could we see the stars and the vastness of the heavens. We must partake of the bitter with the sweet. There is a divine purpose in the adversities we encounter every day. They prepare, they purge, they purify, and thus they bless." - James E. Faust

"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." - Proverbs 3:5-6

"My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment;
And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes." - Doctrine and Covenants 121:7-8

The Voice said... Best Blogger Tips

Thanks. Each word hits a point. I went to get my youngest from the movies a little while ago and was listening to my Ipod. One of my favorites "Jesus, Take the wheel." Sometimes I have to remind myself I sit on the right and I am not the driver of my life. Things can only get better.

Debra Harris-Johnson said... Best Blogger Tips

Ey it's a test. It is always a test. God test to see if we are really ready to enlarge our territories. Remember the prayer of Jabez.

You may not be ready to receive this idea but I love you like you were my kid sister so here it is.

We are stubborn creatures and want to have our way. We pray for what WE want. We want God to obey our will. (Been there done this how else would I know).

Reverse your prayers and your brainwave. Ask what He wants of you? Ask Him what your calling is? Give yourself totally up to a life lived in service to his direction for your life.

When you get the answer and I promise you will. Then.....leap!

Those Feeling My Voice