THE BETWEEN NIGHT & MORNING VOICE …The 3F (Fighting For Faith) Christian… Sometimes I feel like I am sitting on the edge of the boat with my feet dangling over the sides. My face and toes are dripping from the effects of the huge waves of frustration and doubt that are slamming against me and yet I hesitate to grab the hand of the only one I am sure can save me.
I’m sure I am not the only on that has felt like this, but I sure feel that I am. Sometimes, especially when I have worked all week taking care of the little souls that belong to someone else and all kinds of excuses are given to me about why I can’t get the monies I am expected to receive I just want to ask the Lord …What??? What am I supposed to do? Last Saturday I was looking at the prospect of having one child in the center and so I prayed faithfully, thanked God for supplying all of my needs and on Monday I had three extra children. All asking if it would be alright to pay me tomorrow, Wednesday, Friday...Friday came and no payments. What? I know times are hard and I know that some of my parents are feeling the strain, but I feel the strain also.
So, what I want to do is say...Come on Lord. This is not working. This is not what I signed up for. I want to say sit here near me Jesus so that we can have a heart to heart. Let’s review these promises written for my new birth because I am tired. I’m standing on my promises. I have tossed all of my old baggage and habits overboard in the hopes of lightening my load and yet wave after wave keeps smacking me in the face and the boat is about to tip over. I want to say if all of this 'faith' stuff is not going to work I may as well be as the world.
And you know, the funny thing is as I write this I can see Jesus smiling and shaking His head like a friend that knows me better than any other. I can hear Him saying “Girl, you been there, done that before. The devil only uses things you have been through before. Shake it off, wipe your face and wade on in the water. You’re much safer out here with Me anyway.”
I could just laugh out loud.