I Can't Believe - Well Yeah I Really Can

Yesterday all I could see was jealousy, envy, regret...let's say doubt., BUT I WRITE WHAT I BELIEVE!!

On the weekend I searched out my 'gag' ex-brother's book he has written.  He is the lying, stealing black sheep of the family (everybody has one) and no doubt he will make it with his book and fake life (imagined co-author) he has given himself, those sneaky kind always do. Best life to him. *shuddering at memories*
 Pop over and make a comment just so I know if I'm wasting my time. http:/wade-inpublishing.blogspot.com (or click link on sidebar)Lol. Really, worrying about whatever he think he can do is ridiculous. I shall always consider myself the better and keep on striving. Life always gets better.

On the weekend I received in the mail the magazine a friend of mine from Beaumont has published. Her, I am happy for. She wrote the 'Spotlight' magazine for many years as a showcase for African Americans and it never really hit, but it was awesome. This one is called Nubian. She is a total entrepreneur.

Yesterday, I talked to my mom. She is so happy. Her and my eldest brother have finally moved into the trailer across from her home which is being remodeled after Ike destroyed it. She was telling me how beautiful the house is coming along and it should be ready in a couple of weeks. I am so happy for her. She has worked hard all of her life rearing seven kids alone and I a glad this is happening for her. And yet I feel a little envious.

Yesterday, another of my brothers called. He was all excited about the fact the home he paid for and had been out of since Rita was finally about to get fixed. Torn down, rebuilt and all of the monies he and the woman he lives with that was paid out in temporary lodgings would be repaid. My mouth was cheering him on (I am really glad for him)and yet I could feel myself being a little jealous and angry. In the back of my mind I was thinking of all of the unrighteous things he and this woman are doing (living together while married to others, having children, naming one Jesus, after the Lord, among other things)and how they are being blessed and I really liked my house in Beaumont and yet had to lose so much. Dang.

Yesterday, I read everyone's blogs and the email for the critique group meeting with Debra and felt doubt. Should I have even moved? The critique group I was gong to get with out here is full of youngsters just bragging on themselves and not really wanting to help each other. Needless to say, I didn't touch the computer at all last night. I had to do a lot of soul searching and praying to get over. The things we can let our mind do to us.

This morning though, I read Jessie's blog, and Erica's blog (On the Write Path)and reread Holli's. Faith, belief in miracles, and a new day makes a difference. It is beautiful outside today.
I can't believe I was on such a jealous streak yesterday. I could just smack myself.